cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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