We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
