There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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