it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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