he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
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