belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
