turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
