I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
