Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Barsexuality is the new black.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
