I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
