may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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