Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
