I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
