My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
this is an emotional support booty call
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
