i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
