3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
