He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
