I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
