the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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