i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
