I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
