Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
