He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
