WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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