She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
