It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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