is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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