I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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