There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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