She said her name was "party"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
