I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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