"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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