If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Did you just see the Batmobile???
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
