Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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