Already got asked if we're dating
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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