The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
