And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize