she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
