ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
