I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
