Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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