if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
