It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
