You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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