two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
