im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
No I am not eating basil off your cock
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize