Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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