Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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