Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
