It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
