just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
