I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
