Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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