It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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