I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize