Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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