no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
