She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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