He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
