I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
