i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
