Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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