Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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