just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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