Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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