i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I have post one night stand depression
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