shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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