I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
well you can't waste a boner
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
