the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
