Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
