our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
