there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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