So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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