This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
