I must be too annoying 4 u.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
