It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
