stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
