Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
